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Bean

by Vivian Rose, age 14, Arkansas

I have half a mind to sue "Bean's" production company for brain damage. After watching this ludicrously deranged display of insanity, I felt like I'd been hit over the head with a frying pan and forced to do algebra for hours. In short, I felt drained of all intelligence.

When I saw the opening scene, where kooky British Dr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) uses an electric razor on every area of his face, including his forehead, nose, and tongue, I was ready to walk out, but felt I wouldn't be doing my duty as a film critic, so I reluctantly stayed. (This is an awful film - especially for little kids - they could get dangerous ideas, like trying to shave their tongues with dad's razor, and be seriously injured.

The plot: Dr.Bean, the most annoying employee at the London National Art Gallery, is sent to America to unveil "Whistler's Mother," which has recently been purchased by the Grierson Gallery in Los Angeles. When he arrives, he creates chaos everywhere he goes - from the airport to an amusement park - straining the marriage of art historian and curator of the Grierson Gallery, David Langley (Peter Macnicol) who naively lets Bean stay at his own home. In one unbearably uncouth scene, Bean tries to stuff a turkey, loses his watch inside it, and winds up with the turkey on his head.

Another difficult scene to watch was: Left alone with the American masterpiece, "Whistler's Mother," Bean utterly, senselessly, and most stupidly destroys the priceless masterpiece.

And they call this entertainment.

My rating : 1 star
Rating : PG-13 (for moments of risque humor)