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Ask Lola


Q: Dear Lola,
Hi I'm 17 years old and my self confidence is way low. I mean, I do like myself but when it comes to me liking a guy, I'll tell myself I'm not good enough and I wont talk to him. I make myself think that guys don't like me even before I know them! I wish I could justtalk to them with confidence. Can you give me some advice on what to do? thanks.

A: You need to stop attacking yourself and give yourself a little credit for the person you are. Constantly telling yourself you aren't worth anything is totally destructive, and it's something that you need to stop doing right away. I am confident that you are a person with incredible talents and abilities. Take some confidence in those attributes that you have and be proud of who you are. As for the boys, don't psyche yourself out. Just relax and try to be yourself---the true you that is trying to come out of its shell.

Q: Dear Lola, I have a dilemma. My boyfriend and I go to the same school and three days ago, out of the blue, I told him that I didn't know whether I wanted to keep dating him or start going out with this other guy that I've been noticing lately. To make a long story short, I ended up choosing to stay with him, but then he decided he didn't want me anymore after how I had made him feel. Now he's going out with another girl and I can't cope with it. He keeps hugging her in front of me and not caring. Now I wish that I hadn't ever broken up with him. What should I do? Dilemma.

A: Dear Dilemma, When you make a decision to break things off with a guy, you need to be mature enough to deal with whatever happens as a result of the break up. Granted, maybe you had grown tired of dating him and maybe your feelings for this other guy were really strong, but you threw the towel in and severed the relationship, and so he should feel no obligation to bring his life to a halt. He did the only thing that he could do, and that was to move on. You need to do the same. We have to live with the decisions we make in life, regardless of the consequences.