2

Three hours later, Dan and Jaina were traveling through hyperspace, en route to Sandtooine. Beside him, Jaina stirred. He looked over to her and saw her eyelids flutter. Rubbing her eyes with one hand and holding her head with the other, she sat up slowly. "Ughh," she said.

"Good morning, Jainer... how was your sleep?" Dan asked.

"Ughh," she replied definitely. "Where am I?"

"Well, I had to leave Mos Calamari, and I didn't want to leave you all alone, so I closed up your cantina and brought you with me. We're on our way to Sandtooine," he said to her, giving her one of his "aren't-you-proud-of-me?" grins.

Just then, Lando stuck his head in the cockpit.

"Hi Dan!!!!" Dan's newly resurrected friend screamed at the top of his lungs, making Jaina's head hurt, which was the intention.

"Ughh," she replied softly, her hand of her pounding head.

'So, what you guys been up to?!?!?!?!" he screamed even louder that the lop of his lungs, making Jaina's head hurt even more, which was even more the intention.

"Ughh," she said again, leaning forward and "accidentally" landing her elbow on the "EJECT LANDO" button.

Lando was thrust out into space and because he wasn't wearing a space suit, imploded. His limbs were sucked up into his body, and his head was the last to go. It was relatively clean compared to a human body EX-ploding, but still rather disgusting.

Dan was shielding Jaina's eyes throughout this, because he didn't want his cockpit ruined if her got queasy. When Lando was done imploding, Dan looked at Jaina and yelled "Ohmigosh!!!! You killed Lando!!!!!! You moron!!!!!!"

Hurt by this remark, she started to cry. "I - I - I - I didn't mean to," she managed to get out between sobs.

Being the genius he was, Dan realized that he'd hurt Jaina's feelings and tried to console her, "Awww Jainer hunny, it's okay. It would've happened sooner or later. It always does. he always comes back anyway. I only called you a moron because that's what the script said."

About half an hour later they arrived at Mon Aisley, a city on Sandtooine. By now Jaina was feeling a little better, but her head was still aching. She was saying, "Ughh" a lot less, but could still see aliens in ballet outfits dancing around her head, making her dizzy.

His arm around her waist, Dan led Jaina into the Mon Aisley Cantina. They stood in the doorway, their eyes adjusting to the dim lights.

The alien ballerinas pranced around in circles around her. Around and around. Faster and faster... too fast... darkness.

"Awww man!!! Dan shouted as Jaina fainted into his arms.

Ten minutes later at Jobba's place Dan was talking in a hushed voice.

"What are we gonna do with her during the concert? She's still out cold," Dan whispered.

"Put her in the ransor pit," Lando suggested.

"Shut up. Just shut up," Dan said.

"Or the sardaac pit," continued Lando.

"I said SHUT UP!!!!" Dan yelled, drawing a knife. He stabbed Lando in the eye, then dragged the blade across her face to the opposite ear. Lando fell backward, dead. "Ohmigosh!!!! I killed Lando!!!!! I'm such a moron!!!!" Dan yelled, because the script said so.

Two Gammogean guards marched over to the scene and took Lando's corpse away without asking any questions, as if it was no bid deal. This kind of thing happened everyday at Jobba's place.

"Farfunugen!! Now who's gonna sing back up for me really badly so I sound good in comparison?" Dan asked himself.

"Me," replied Lando, walking out of the men's bathroom.

"You again?" Dan asked, exasperated.

"You sound disappointed. Anyway, while I was dead, I figured out how to solve your problem with the girl," Lando said, taking off his boots and socks. He waved one of his socks in front of Jaina's face. His socks had not been washed in light-years, and smelled like someone who had been dead for a few hundred centuries.

Coughing, she bolted straight up. "Ughh," she said, pinching her nose.

"see? It wasn't that hard," said Lando, putting his socks back on.

"Okay," said Dan. "let's sing."

"Just a minute, I have to drink some water. All this dying makes a guy thirsty," Lando said, pouring some water from a pitcher on a table into a glass. little did he know, this water was actually Hott saliva, Jobba the Hott's spit. Hott saliva is extremely poisonous to humans.

As Lando drank it, his head began to swell. In five seconds, it had grown to the size of a watermelon, then exploded. Bits and chunks flew across the room.

Dan turned to Jobba the Hott, yelling. "Ohmigosh!!! You killed Lando!!!! You moron!!!!"

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted it. The massive blob that was Jobba glared at Dan.

Gammogean guards started running towards Dan and Jaina. Dan grabbed her arm. "let's blow this joint!!" he yelled, pulling her towards the door. As they neared the exit, the huge metal gates started to close.

"Dive under it!" Dan yelled as he leaped under the swiftly closing gate. Jaina threw herself to the ground and quickly crawled under the other side, just before the gate smashed into the ground.

"Hurry up! We don't have all day!" Lando yelled from the land speeder he was sitting in.

"C'Mon, Jainer," Dan said, pulling her to her feet. They both climbed into the land speeder and sped off.

That evening in hyperspace on their way back to Mon Calamari, Dan turned to Jaina.

'So, how'd you like our little adventure?" he asked her.

"I was unconscious through most of it," she replied.

"And I was dead through most of it," Lando said, walking into the cockpit.

"Shut up Lando," Jaina and Dan said in unison.

They both hit the "EJECT LANDO" button at the same time. Their hands touched, their eyes met. They sat, gazing at each other while Lando was once again shot into space and imploded. They leaned into each other's arms, their lips almost touching.

"Ohmigosh!!!! We killed Lando!!!! We're such morons!!!!" Dan yelled.