Martian Chronicles

By Ana Avila, 17, Venezuela

Hi. My name is Ana Trafmytro, I'm 17 years old and I'm from Mars. I'm going to explain you the Martian style of life because I know that the Earthlings ignore it totally.

Early in the mornings at 15^23T (sorry, that's the martian hour) I wake up at 5:30 am. I try to stand up, you know in Mars is harder because we don«t have gravity. Then I take a shower that really wakes me up; its temperature is -760¡C, because in my planet the temperature is really cold.

Then I take my space ship for coming to school in the earth. I spend thousands and thousands of earthling dollars for gas and maintenance, just for coming to school!! What a waste of money!

After school I return to my planet. Oh!! I've got to tell you about Martian food!! It's delicious! We eat rocks and all kinds of volcanism products. I eat them with some earthling jellies that I've learned to prepare at school. It's a very cool combination earthling jellies with Martian rocks!! For dessert I eat "Volcanox" a typical Martian dessert, prepared with a special martian rock and subterranean frozen water.

In the afternoons I have a musical group called Strupmentrachips (it's in Martian language and it doesn't have an English translation). We play a music called Mentriskatred that doesn't exist in the earth. Obviously, playing music is one os my favorite hobbies. I also love dancing, singing and going to the discotheques, but in Mars; I hate the way that the earthlings do those activities.

I love the martian discotheques, because people from the entire galaxy can go there, except the earthlings; they're not allowed to be there. I love the Neptune and Saturn guys, they're very nice, smart, and cute.

My family is huge, my dad is from Syprok near of the basin of the Argyre, and my mom from Datromy near of the Thais' mountains. Syproc has a huge quantity of frozen water; Datromy, a lot of volcanoes. I love my parents' birthplaces because they're really nice places. but I prefer Strikymatre, my city.

Strikymatre is the biggest, most modern, most beautiful, and most powerful city on the planet. I live there with my 12 siblings (Trup, Shapk, Meck, Zue, Patrak, Lisyo, Bellux, Cospry, Jored, Aled, Cathma and Marjen). In our city also live Mut Prance Prunck, the Planet's King. Strikymatre is huge. It has a lot of restaurants, cinemas and residential buildings.

We don't have malls, if you want to buy something, you call the companies. They'll go to your home and show their products and you pick out what you want. If you wanna go somewhere, you can be tele-transporteded with just pronouncing the name of the place. It's more sophisticated than "The Jetsons".

Our buildings are colored green, white or blue. If we made them red they'd be confused with the surface of the planet. We have an object called Marsvision, it's similar to an Earthling TV, but its better because it shows Martian programs and its actors. I prefer the humor programs, but the best of them is Martian's Creek, it's like Earthling Dawson's Creek, but with Martian situations. My favorite actor is Muntrys Chytrap. His antennas are softer and larger than any other Martian ones. I love them!!

Mars has a population of 28 million inhabitants, its principal language is the Marglish, and the money is de Marllar. The Marllar is valued at 1 Marllar per 640 earthling dollars. We have a very high quality of life. If your salary is 200 Marllars, the goverment will pay you a second salary. That doesn't mean that our salaries are low, it means that the goverment wants us to live better. We have very good economic relationships with other planets like Mercury and Venus, that provide us with water.

Our god is called Muctris. We celebrate his day wearing red clothes, his favorite color, and making a contest of Volcanox. The winner will be blessed by Muctris for the next year. If you don't follow this rule you'll be exiled from the planet. We also celebrate the Cesprarion, our independence day from Jupiter; the Flowtra, discovery of Pluto.

We have a very few typical martian sports. For example, the Marsball is like the volleyball but he ball is heavier and bigger. We don't have gravity, so it's more dificult to move from side to side to catch the ball. And the Capnionbert is a ball that you have to pass thourgh a Polugtra. Polugtra is a Martian rock the is circular and has a hole in the center.

I hope that you've enjoied the story; any comments or dudes you can write me to my earthling e-mail anaavila82@hotmail.com and I'll tell you more about my planet. See you on a next "Martian Chronicle".